Sock Puppet with crozier

The front page of the Church of Nigeria’s offical website carries a news article an article (thanks) from a Nigerian Newspaper from which I excerpt the following passage:

Outside of the hallowed precincts of the Church and his Bishop’s Court, this “Lion” is self-effacing almost to the point of meekness; nevertheless, such is his aura and “presence”, that despite his elegantly casual way of dressing, especially when traveling in cognito, (in civilian mufti), no-one could fail to notice him when he passes by, or enters a room. And when he opens his mouth to speak, authority and command issue forth, to compel your attention. The magic is in his voice! His voice is a cross between a muffled trumpet sound and an Army commandant’s barking orders during parade. His English when he addresses an audience, is totally without Oxford accent affectation, yet it has the resonance and clarity of a bell. It is authoritative, yet pleasing and re-assuring. His assertions carry a note of finality –not unlike Pilate’s, “what I have written (spoken) I have written (spoken)” No listener is left in doubt, or wondering as to what is meant –he means what he says, and says what he means to say –without ambiguity. He has the spell-binding gift of the anointed, and leaves no one in doubt that he is the oracle of God, speaking the mind of Christ, especially in his prophetic pronouncements, based on the hidden truths of the Scriptures. You feel the Power in God’s Words, as they cascade and issue forth from the spiritual well-spring of his inner being.

Holy fucking sockpuppets, Batman! Who knew these things about Archbishop Akinola? Why don’t people say the same about Archbishop Rowan? Where can I get his book on humility?

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Sock Puppet in a dog collar

This (via) is a completely wonderful story. In brief, the vicar of a very high Anglo-Catholic Church in Reading has been caught posting flattering anonymous reviews of his own sermons, dress sense, and singing voice on the Ship of Fools web site. To make the whole story more exquisite, he was caught after a member of his own congregation compained that the anonymous review was too flattering …

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A small ethical dilemma

Suppose you are aware of a disreputable story about person x, known to you; you find a version of this story—entirely anonymised—on a blog kept by person y, known to both you and x, but not, so far as you know, read by x. What do you do?

The possible courses of action seem to me

  1. Do nothing. The story is true, but not attached to any kind of identifying information
  2. Contact blogger y and suggest, or demand that they remove the story lest some malicious person get hold of it and turn it to x’s disadvantage. Add, to taste, a denunciation of their cruelty, heartlesness, voyeurism, etc.
  3. Ring up x at breakfast and say “Guess what y has written about you?” Then read them the story.

I would be particularly interested in defences of option (3) because I can’t myself think of any.

Posted in Blather | 9 Comments

An act of God

There was a sizable thunderstorm here on Sunday which took out both my router and my cable modem. The router has been replaced; the internet connection may be back on Wednesday or may not;. In the mean time, anyone who needs me urgently had best ring.

Posted in Housekeeping | 4 Comments

Is God a teapot?

It is a standard atheist trope to claim that the existence of God can no more be disproved than the existence of a teapot orbiting Mars. So why worry that he might exist?

Well, the obvious difference is that no one thinks it a matter of overwhelming moral importance that there should not be a teapot orbiting Mars, or is shocked by the absence of a teapot orbiting Mars, or regards it as normal in other people to be shocked by the Martian teapot question, or devotes 400 page books to the Martian teapot question. To claim, therefore, that the existence of God is exactly analogous to that of the orbiting Martian teapot is to miss everything that makes the status of God interesting or important.

Note: saying “they started it” does not make the question go away.

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Torture: an instructional video

Would it help explain the issues to make a film in a prominent torture supporter is kidnapped and waterboarded, on video, until he agrees to say that he, not Monica Lewinsky, gave Bill Clinton a blow job; also that torture is wrong; that waterboarding isn’t torture and that he was right to vote for it?

After this statement has been made, and played back to him, and he has signed it, all on camera, you bring on a third party, and explain that the Senator will have to perform with them some degrading act, on camera, and then say once more that waterboarding isn’t torture, that he was right to vote for it — that is, unless he wants the treatment to resume … I don’t think it would be necessary to film much after that. .

It might work. It might, of course change nothing. If American voters really thought their enemies could be humiliated that badly, would they just be delighted to have that technique as a weapon?

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Timeless torture

This is a Worm’s Eye column from November last year:

Everyone knows that in Stalin’s Purges between 1935 and 1940 perhaps fifteen million people died after various forms of torture. It is less known that throughout this Terror the Russian secret police — first known as the NKVD, and then as the KGB — were were directed by men who confessed, at their trials, to being agents of the British government. This was felt by many Western observers to be completely ridiculous. After all, by the time the purges were over, it appeared that practically everyone on the Soviet government in 1934, and not just the men who ran the secret police, had been taking their orders from foreign governments, and from Trotsky in Mexico too. This couldn’t, surely be true. Yet it is true that while millions died in silence or even defiance, hundreds of thousands of wreckers and saboteurs went to their graves protesting their own guilt. In the dock, in front of the horrified and astounded observers, some from the Western press, they proclaimed themselves guilty on every unimaginable charge.

Some contemporary journalists believed them, most notably Walter Duranty from the New York Times, who won a Pulitzer for his reporting, and wrote that “The future historian will probably accept the Stalinist version”. The American ambassador to Moscow. Joseph Davies, reported to his supererios from the show trial that there was “proof … beyond reasonable doubt to justify the verdict of treason.”

The only evidence for these confident verdicts was confession. As Robert Conquest, the great historian of the Terror, wrote: “A case in which there was not only no evidence against the accused, but they also denied the charges, would clearly be rather a weak one by any standards. In fact, confession is the logical thing to go for when the accused are not guilty and there is no genuine evidence. “

So how were the confessions obtained? For years we have believed that the answer was “torture”. But reading Conquest or Solzhenitsyn today, this seems less certain. Both of them list the methods used by the KGB — Solzhenitsyn has 28 in his, yet both say that few of these were in themselves torture. Here are five methods used by the KGB to extract their confessions:

  1. The Attention Grab: The interrogator forcefully grabs the shirt front of the prisoner and shakes him.
  2. Attention Slap: An open-handed slap aimed at causing pain and triggering fear.
  3. The Belly Slap: A hard open-handed slap to the stomach. The aim is to cause pain, but not internal injury. Doctors consulted advised against using a punch, which could cause lasting internal damage.
  4. Long Time Standing: This technique is described as among the most effective. Prisoners are forced to stand, handcuffed and with their feet shackled to an eye bolt in the floor for more than 40 hours. Exhaustion and sleep deprivation are effective in yielding confessions.
  5. The Cold Cell: The prisoner is left to stand naked in a cell kept near 50 degrees. Throughout the time in the cell the prisoner is doused with cold water.”

If the translation sounds unfamiliar, this is because it is indirect. Though all of these methods are listed in both Conquest and Solzhenitsyn, I took this particular list from the CIA. They are — according to ABC News — five of the “Enhanced interrogation techniques” used by the CIA in secret camps on prisoners detained without trial or any other contact with the outside world. There is a sixth method, of simulated drowning, which even the KGB did not use.

These are the methods described last week by Mr Bush’s appointed head of the CIA as “a variety of unique and innovative [techniques], all of which are legal and none of which are torture”.

Solzhenitsyn, reviewing their effect of these tortures, wholly unoriginal and completely illegal even when practised by the KGB, asks mercy for their victims. He, who suffered terribly himself, does not condemn anyone who cracked: “Brother mine! Do not condemn those who, finding themselves in such a situation, turned out to be weak and confessed to more than they should have. … Do not be the first to cast a stone at them.”

Neither should we. But there is one small point of justice here. The purpose of these tortures is to extract confessions, or, as the CIA calls them, “vital information”. And if they are effective then we owe Stalin’s ghost a huge apology. Orwell, Koestler, Conquest, Solzhenitsyn, and all the other enemies of Communism were slanderers.

If torture works, the truth means nothing and all the heads of the KGB under Stalin were really working for British intelligence and Leon Trotsky too. And if you find that hard to believe, consider the only alternative: that the men currently directing the American government in its fight against evil are themselves now taking their instructions from the other side.

Posted in War | 1 Comment

An argument for which I will not charge royalties

I thought I could not longer be shocked by the hatred and depravity of the usual crew of dhimmitudinous liberal al-Guardianistas who will see nothing good in any of the actions of this administration. Typically, they are screaming in their chestless womanly way about the way that congress has voted to legalise torture and abolish habeas corpus. It never occurs to them that this is a far-sighted move towards lasting peace. Since, as everyone knows, the terrorists hate us for our freedoms, how can we hope to end the Global War on Terror unless we remove the freedoms that they hate us for?

I’ll be astonished if any better defence of this crew is ever put forward, and delighted if it is put forward at the Hague.

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What does this mean?

Tim Garton Ash, in the Guardian today, concludes by saying:

At this pivotal moment, we who live in the rest of the world, beyond the Washington beltway, also face a choice. We can watch like spectators in the cinema, as a real-life Terminator 4 unfolds before our eyes, and then walk home, at once titivatingly appalled and self-huggingly reassured in the certainty of our own moral superiority – until, that is, we are blown up by a jihadist bomb. Or we can try to reinforce the nascent shift in Washington by ourselves helping to develop better ways than guns and missiles of dealing with a militant Iran, the awful consequences of the misbegotten Iraq war, home-grown terrorist cells and the other real dangers that threaten us even more directly than they do the current inhabitant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

And who are this “we” he addresses? If anything I could say or do or write had any influence in Washington I’d feel a little better. But of course it doesn’t. So perhaps the piece is addressed to the British governing classes. But they are of course doing whatever is in their power to find a way of coping with the consequences of the Iraq disaster; and they are very well aware of the threat of Jihadi terrorism. Nor, in any case, does Washington take any notice of them, either. I like Tim, and admire him greatly. But he’s not very realistic about the power of intellectuals in modern America.

Posted in War | 2 Comments

Mike Ford, a review never published

I did actually review his most recent book1 for the Guardian. They never printed the review, because the book,sent me by PNH, was never published here. But I did send it to him, and got a kind note back.2 Below the fold.

1 No, I don’t want to write “last”.

2 Kinder, perhaps, that I would have written myself in response to a review so much about other people. But I was writing for a self-consciously high culture audience. They still have on file an appreciation of Resumé with Monsters which they don’t know what to do with.

Continue reading

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